..tension..weary..happy..look forward sum..-complicated feeling wat i having now..-

my feeling:complicated..2 weeks more to go,my beloved BF will be back soon..aww,it totally make me felt tension now..XD..what the image will he thinking when looking on me tat time..??scary..XD

i already 9 months didn see him then..miss him so much somemore..however,it's nt the realistic..maybe it's too long we didn meet each other,i scare have a feeling out:strangeness..aww,i don't hope it will be happen on that time..sighhh..

by the ways,my exam is around the corner..shit..haven't done to do revision yet..dizzying..but never mind,i think it may passing soon as possible..i dont wish it;s besides me when he coming back..

cheer it's up..:p

i wanna be alone..

it's getting more happen around me 2day..our relation nid to face the problem again..what the hell all??how difficult am i waiting for him to come back soon..however,unfortunately things always follow me up..unstopped..f*ck off..

im totally lost confidence together with him more else..i just wanna he can give me a social life..and give me feel a bit sense of security..just all..im trying and trying..it's totally make me feel tiredness and helpness somemore..what can i do for you??

now i only know,2 person to gether is not easy else..im trouble and trouble..should find a place to hidden myself..just leave me alone now..

..on waiting..

waiting for few months more..
waiting for u come back n date v u..
wanna to see you soon..better is:right now..
however,i knew,impossible..
u should be take good care of ur study on this period..(^_^)!!

gonna the time is passing soon..
wanna fight the exam on next month..
would u support me..??i believe,u will..>.<''
i just try my best all..haha..
after this,just hope that november coming as soon..
just because,may see you again..*&*

*TH3 TIM3LIST IS FULL..

just pray to u..
n my exam also..*&*..
cheer's it up..
miss u so much,my dear..

..你..与..我..

许多人，都羡慕我说，我好命。。我在他们的心中，都是一朵温室里的小花。。得到爸爸妈妈的疼爱;也有一个好好先生，好好的男朋友。。但是，事实上，我并不认同这说法。。

现在的我，就有如一只被被困在笼子里的小小鸟。。我羡慕其他可以四处翱翔的小鸟，好自在，无忧无虑的；我真的好期待，有一天，鸟笼的门子可以打开，让我到处飞翔，实现我的梦想。。现在的我，都不敢妄想什么。。只要有属于自己的私人空间，已经足够了。我并不奢望什么。我只要快乐。我的梦想，我知道，并不可能会实现了。。我好累，好想可以深深地吸一口气。。我的梦想，已经破灭了，我都晓得。现在的我，天天只能在房里上网，温习功课，发着白日梦，除了这些，还能做些什么。我不敢，在任何人面前说出我的梦想，因为，我晓得，他们都会反对，说我天真，我真的压抑好大，好辛苦。我真的累了。。

我与你的感情线上，好想浮上了一道伤疤。。我俩的感情，我就像天上飘着的风筝，而你就是操作控制风筝的那个线，无论风筝风的再怎么高，只要你一收收线，我就会堕落，回到你的身边。。但，你从来没想过，我是否真的快乐。。或许，有一天，线拉得太紧绷，断了，那该怎么办？与你在一起，我的压力真的好大。。围绕着许许多多的问题。。我的范围，永远都不超过你的界限。。你，也真的快乐吗？你相信，若是放任我在外边游荡，后果一定不堪吧？你真的对我那么没有信心吗？什么话题不一样，都是骗人的。。只要互相坦诚相对，我知道，就没有问题了。在你心中，我是一块珍贵的宝，我都感觉到。。但，有时候，我真得快崩溃了。。我继续读书好了，因为，这都是你想要的。。说真的，若是要我放手我俩的感情，我做不到。其实，我知道你说不让我出去，或做自己喜欢事情的原因，你怕我被欺骗，甚至，也许还怕失去我了。。对吧？还是也害怕我们出现代沟吧？你知道吗？我就像永远都长不大的小孩，因为，你们太宠爱，溺爱我了。。你知道吗？但是，这不是我想要的。。真的不是我想要的。我记得你说过，每个人都需要朋友，不是吗？因为你，我的朋友逐渐地少去，我想谈个心事，翻着电话簿，都找不到可以跟我分享心事的朋友。我的人生，真得很可悲。。你懂吗？除了你，还有谁？

我好想，休息。。因为，我真的累了。。你的女朋友我累了。。好累。。整夜，都在我床上翻覆，一直都睡不着，好苦恼。。我好爱好爱你，你知道吗？你都不晓得。。

l.o.v.e ..??..

i really get hurt now..im trouble all the things..i just know,crying right now..other things,wont care it anymore..maybe i really not a good girl friend..however,i already try my best and keep my temper as well..but,finally,that's stupid brain lost controlling..be crazy again..

im sorry..current circumstances not really well..i will be a crazy somedays..i think..all the bad things was come suddenly..how should i handle it all..??im don't know..i really confuse about it..you are stress,me too..i just wanna u caring me..it's easy..right..???..

god,please bless me..i really love him so much..but,he never know..maybe,he leave me so far..he is not besides me..i cant really to understand me..he too..we are separate other country..so,what can i do..???..what can do for him..??..some more,what can i do for us..??..our future..??..im blur at all..no more idea..and considence..i hate it all..

what's the love meaning for..??..i really don't know..im so tired to continue our relation..however,i never think that i wil give up he someday..because he is my love..only love..forever and ever..i hope,he may understand me..

we are always make arguement..i really dont want fact the difficulty anymore..i felt it make me annoying..and just destroy our relation..the problem is non-stop for us..you are not besides me..i scared alone..i hate alone..i want you always concernation about me..

if always keep quarrel,how could be long relation..??..be with you,already had 3 years..i dont wanna give uping u..do you know it..???..

friendship forever and ever..

me..sheemay..miki..

acting kimm my pretty lily..

boe..ice..lily..

3va n pretty lily

haha..i meet my old friends recently..wow..all become as a pretty girlss..nice and sweet..somemore,is SEXY..happy that going out and drinking with my beloved friends..they are as a talkactive actually..haha..i have learn a lot some beauty things from them..wow..they really have a lot of expelains there..lolzzz..
enjoying with them..oopppss..forgot to write somethings here..happy to knows you all..cheersss..im waiting this saturday coming lolzz..our crazy night..ahha..muackzz..love you all..^^

how loser am i..

i really unhappy today..i don't know that who can be my listener..im get hurt today..im get fever,had some sore throat and headache..my friends was concerned me by msn..however,in front of him,i just say wrong somethings else,we make an arguement again..god..how angry am i..??why need i apologize with him..??it's unfair for me..i dislike..

im a sickness today..and don't want remind some unhappy memorries..you..always remind it for me..i try to forget it all..however,why i can't do it so..??i wanna cry..i have lot of stress..do ou know actually..i think,i may acting well in front of you today..but failed..i was failed to do it..im sorry..

i really don't want be a cadaver..my life is dark..do u know..??no matter what am i doing for yo..all is useless,rubbish..just has a word can describe me,u know what's word?that is loser..forever..i wanna give up my life..no more brave to fact the difficulty..no more..

happy mother's day..^^

to my lovely mom..happy mother day for you..

almost 11am here,i still in slumber..my mummy called me wake up..in my mind,i think,what's up??mummy..(actually i knew that today is mother's day..)she said,today we need to celebrate mother's day with my grandma..yes..this time i stand aghast at this serious news..im forgot my grandma..ew..im a bad girl on this world..

finished my freshen up and chatting with kim..im preparing go out to meet them..when i reached there..oh my godness..already start serving food there..im be late..nope..my cousin them lated than me..hahahaha..>.
my dad and my uncle was invite 3 tables at that restaurant..but somebody was absent..so excessive some seat..on my tables there,just some cousin besides me..whao..(not happy actually,is feel hopeless..and thinking that how to finish all the regale there..)look at there,so many regale there..got fish..chicken..taufu..vegetable..prawns..and a lot..totally is 8 regale..oh my god..how come we finish it all..we're girls..need keep the body shape also..and our appetite not really big also..ew..

the result is same with i what am i thinking about..we really can't finished it..left a lot food there..damn waste the food also..when we are eating the num.5 regale..we can't eat more..this is girl what can i descibe it lol..oopppss..not my fault also..sorry..

i hope,my be loved grandma..my mummy will be happy today..i love you two..i wish that my mummy will keep in pretty..and remember,keep the weight also..hahaha..last,i wanna sa :happy mother's day to all mummy lol..>.<

using a new msn account..>.<

my old msn account is created by my beloved hubby..however don't know why that i can't sign in this account anymore since 3 days before..haizz..im so sad about that..actually i love that account so much,the address is yeehwahnkk@xxxxxxx..using by our name..romantic,is it..??..

although this new account also created by kim..but i most like the before one..i don't know what the reason and make me can't online there..trying..trying..and trying again..the result is same..god,why did you treat me like this..hmmm..>.
dear,keep effort and study hard there..you will been my side as soon..i think so..would you following rules those that you promise me before..??..can't betray,can't be lazy there..you already missed a lot class there..be careful there also..don't let me know again..if not,i will make a new punishment for you..(just for you..)hahaha..

=.=!!! i love you..

hopefully,-i love you- this 3 words,still have meaning for us..actually,i don't think it come out by your wholehearted..understand what was im saying..??..dear,whatever,at less,you let me know,you are care me also..

actually,i really wanna you are besides me now..however,i know it is impossible..we are focusing our study now..and no more time to chat everyday..sometime,i feel that im so lonely..i scared alone..i need some consideration from you..yes,you are trying to do best for me..but,i want the real feeling..

we are go back like before..although we are chatting everyday..but do you know that,when i had some problem or difficulty..i don't know how to talking with you..just because,i knew that you are busy for your study..homework..assignment..i don't want you annoying my trouble also..

last day,u typing 'i love you' this 3 words for me..however,im not happy also..i don't know the reason..and i also don't want know it also..because i believe that you still love me as same as i love you so..i had play an ewft test just now..it showed us will be along together..i was thanksgiving to Angus and let me requicken..let me guess that we wont seperate or broken someday..unless,you are go wrong once day..

time is too rushing..but i still can't do any things or fix any things by myself..everytime,should be had a person to help me..i really don't have brave to face up to my troubles manfully..hmmm..damn disappointed on myself..>.<

The time is passing as soon..i can't control or detainment it..i don't have this ability..i really hope the time can be stop here..stop in this moment..please..it's run too fast..i can't following it's footfall..sometime,i feel,i need find a place whose are don't know me and incognizance about me..

i really feel difficultly in breathing..i need somebody and sharing some enjoyment for me..i really wanna thanking to my beloved kim who always loving and caring me,else is my best friends:may may and sau yan..although we are not contact everyday..however,they are let me know,what's kind of their gave me and support me..

my life,grad that you all are besides me..thanks..

-..good night..??..-

hey,my dear..you don't know that before you sleep,should be say "good night" to me..??..this is some basic rules for a person..you are damn impolite..huh..i upload this picture here..this is your little punishment ..understand..??..hahaha..

i dislike the person who never culture..you should be change,promise..??..i really dislike this bad practice..i stopped here,had a bit tired and feel sleepy also..

okey,good night to my precious-kim..>.<

**happy moment with yee fong**

this girl as super noughty girl as who call yee fong(meant kim's cousin)..she like to hang out and go to garden with my beloved and me..she also like pretty too..when she was at home,sure be more fun ..*@*..

this picture is capture by that cutie babie..i still remember,she called us don't move there and let her took picture..she look like enjoy there when she was took the picture by handset ..she such as an active girl..

we look like very closed,is it..??..however,she was treat me bad and always bully me..sob sob..i still remember that she was signalled somethings in front of my dear..she's too bad for me..even then,i just wanna describe that actually she is a cute girl..nope..such as a super cutie..

this two picture,say truth-i love it so much..it was seperate my dear and me then took with her..this girl,like to capture so much..really..hahaha..look at there,she was shy when she took the picture with us..she has 4 sisters & brother(include yee feng) in her family..but she is the most cute compare with her sisters & brother..miss you,dearest yee feng..

-..which part should i choice..??..-

hopefully can become back be a kid..when i was finished my secondary life..i feel that the time is so rushing for me..time not enough for using..before one could say,already guadruate 3 years more..however,nothings will be done..damn frustrated for myself..

i will intake some new course later..just because of i don't wanna enter into community university first..i know that,if not,sure that i will be regret..i knew myself,i dislike working..nope,i hate working..i like cooking,travelling..however,it's too hard for me..because i have a lot of things to consideration..

one is of my dear..i couldn't leave him aways..i scared that he will worry about my safety..although we are diffirence place right now..he will contact with me everyday..therefore,i can't be selfish anymore,i should think our ways and our future also..

one more is my parent..im their cowry when i was born on that day..maybe they are too love me,and let me developed as a 'noughty' girl..they are never arrest me i to do those the things i dislike..so,i told kim before,if he really want me,must be more careful..but,he don't care also..because,he already knew how to controlling me..i said the truth,i scared him so much..

last is my sisters and brother..we always make a noise when we are at the home..we are love each other actually..however,we don't know how to describe by ourselve..i still remember,we are always talking other gosip..and together bully a boy who always bully my brother..it's funny..this is my family..

feeling down just because:i still can't find out my ways..studying..??what course should to study..??become a traveller..??can i do it..??or become a chief..??so blur=.=!!actually i lucky than other family already..this,i knew..i had a good family,i also had a good hubby..if i can make a wish,i hope..we can be together forever..no matter how long end in my life..they are the most important for me..

-our relationship will be permanently..??..-

** this is my beloved with his lovely cousin**

today,we was fight again..maybe my bad temper make it..not maybe..is make sure..i wanna say sorry to him,but i don't have any brave to talk it..i feel silly,i feel shy in front of him..i scared him to scold me..finally,the bad dream was came out..

im wrong to do somethings..i careless,i was mistaken about him..i don't know how to care a person who i loving for..futhermore,i just find a problem and make quarrel with him..i want apologize with him when he explain a lot of reason and principle..

i feel that im so selfish..i just wanna he take care me..im forgot he was losing his freedom,just because of me..he seldom contact with his friend also..just because he scare me will be angry him..i just care myself..i never thinking about him..all is my problem..all is i make it..no matter where i go wrong,he will be there to turn it into right..

im sorry..i cry..however,it's too late..i hurt him too much..his mouth was born a lot of sore;his hand was scald by oil when he was cooking for dinner..but i didn't asking his wound be more fine..??..i ignore his feeling..what feeling he has..??..

he got a lot of assignment to do..i still annoying him and want he chatting with me..i knew that he was tired..but,he still like nothing..and thrown out his trouble,make some motion to show me..i know why,he wanna be more happy although he worries about his exam or assignment..

i had a good boy friend here..however,i don't know to precious him..i hope he can take care himself..futher,wanna say "sorry" to my beloved..because i really hurt he so much,just like just now..i was lose one's temper again..i also wanna tell him that " i love you "..dear,i promise you,i will try to change my temper..and i wish you can understanding me also..you are num.1 in my heart..i will love you every moment in my life..believe me,i know the time can change anythings,include avell the love that have you give..i will try my best to do well in everythings..

really sorry today,wish you have a good dream..i hope,our relationship will be permanently..forever-ever..until last moment in my life..im sorry..dear..

-**from kim with love**-

my precious and me

again and again and again..whenever im falling down,hopeless and pushed around..sure that you are besides me..listening your advice,trust you that you will help me to carry on anythings..

thank you that im dearly loved from you..my life has changed because of you..you showed me love,like i never knew before..i believe in happy ever after..i thank god for you and me..

there's no joy like the sound of your laughter..it most imazing..i will be the light,to help us find our ways..trough the years,i think that we will keep going on..

i will love you until my final momments..forever's meant for you and me..thank you,my dear..

feel stress..

i have a lot of things want to do..sometime,i really feel that need some idea..to recover that what i losing for..damn unlucky this few day,all the rubbish things come out by step by step,day by day..

bad things come out,should think some idea to settle it..but i have no idea now,my brain just like a white paper..anythings also cant do it as well..really be defeated already..

god,please bless me..i need a lot of time..sometime feel like sick..no more freedom..all controlling by other..im the loser..super loser..sometime,feel that wanna to die..it is hurt me..

which way should i to choice..continue to study..??..or choice to do which as i feel interesting business..???..or become a traveller..??..really wanna find a way to aegis myself..feel jealous bcome a kid..no more stress..no more annoy..just stay happy there..am i right..???..