over all..

it's over at all..actually i was feeling down..i wanna go ahead soon..but it's damn difficult to do it..for now,i just looking forward on other study course,it's only i can do now..

he will regret once day..no matter how,i'll let he ashamed on me..!!!i totally hate him now..he just knew his friends and soccers..he never ever know what i fighting for..!!i hate it..!!

as for him,i just like a mad..when he get free,just remember me..i doesn't need this kind of boyfriend..i totally disappointed on him..he is loser!!usually.i believe that as a normal couple has their privite space..he such as a weirdo..!!i never had it before!!even go out for shopping,or velantine day,i need share with other some more..it's meaningless..i never ever had a romantic dinner..why?

he just know said that im overbearing to him..what about him??but it's all already gone..i gonna be strong now..i gave it up..without any respond..i could alive without him..i hate him though..it's over all..

..complicated..

i don't know what feeling i have now..it's complicated;helpless;speechless..eww,i hate myself,sometime,i feel that i'm abnormal if rather with other else..god,may you give me some inspiration,please..

he said,i was not contention what he gave me before..i just showing him that my hot temper..he was cant to endure it some more..!! what the hell..??on my mind,i just feel he like the sport more than me..!!even thought we go to date,but he will bring his siblings or cousins else..how come?i need the space for two of us..but,he never to know..!!

besides,he knew that i dislike he do the exercise for normally..because,he is crazy!!!can do the 3 different exercise for a day..how about me?he never care it..!!!i feel i already lost the status on his mind..i almost be crazy soon..!!!obviously,i'm not the num.1 on his mind..all as lie..

or may be,we are totally different..thinking different;opinion different;hobby different.. ...i try to accept it all..because,i may too overbearing to him..but,for him,at least should try into my soul,try to listen mine..try to know me more..=( i'm complicated,because i don't know how to do and settle it all..

..tension..weary..happy..look forward sum..-complicated feeling wat i having now..-

my feeling:complicated..2 weeks more to go,my beloved BF will be back soon..aww,it totally make me felt tension now..XD..what the image will he thinking when looking on me tat time..??scary..XD

i already 9 months didn see him then..miss him so much somemore..however,it's nt the realistic..maybe it's too long we didn meet each other,i scare have a feeling out:strangeness..aww,i don't hope it will be happen on that time..sighhh..

by the ways,my exam is around the corner..shit..haven't done to do revision yet..dizzying..but never mind,i think it may passing soon as possible..i dont wish it;s besides me when he coming back..

cheer it's up..:p

i wanna be alone..

it's getting more happen around me 2day..our relation nid to face the problem again..what the hell all??how difficult am i waiting for him to come back soon..however,unfortunately things always follow me up..unstopped..f*ck off..

im totally lost confidence together with him more else..i just wanna he can give me a social life..and give me feel a bit sense of security..just all..im trying and trying..it's totally make me feel tiredness and helpness somemore..what can i do for you??

now i only know,2 person to gether is not easy else..im trouble and trouble..should find a place to hidden myself..just leave me alone now..

..on waiting..

waiting for few months more..
waiting for u come back n date v u..
wanna to see you soon..better is:right now..
however,i knew,impossible..
u should be take good care of ur study on this period..(^_^)!!

gonna the time is passing soon..
wanna fight the exam on next month..
would u support me..??i believe,u will..>.<''
i just try my best all..haha..
after this,just hope that november coming as soon..
just because,may see you again..*&*

*TH3 TIM3LIST IS FULL..

just pray to u..
n my exam also..*&*..
cheer's it up..
miss u so much,my dear..

..你..与..我..

许多人，都羡慕我说，我好命。。我在他们的心中，都是一朵温室里的小花。。得到爸爸妈妈的疼爱;也有一个好好先生，好好的男朋友。。但是，事实上，我并不认同这说法。。

现在的我，就有如一只被被困在笼子里的小小鸟。。我羡慕其他可以四处翱翔的小鸟，好自在，无忧无虑的；我真的好期待，有一天，鸟笼的门子可以打开，让我到处飞翔，实现我的梦想。。现在的我，都不敢妄想什么。。只要有属于自己的私人空间，已经足够了。我并不奢望什么。我只要快乐。我的梦想，我知道，并不可能会实现了。。我好累，好想可以深深地吸一口气。。我的梦想，已经破灭了，我都晓得。现在的我，天天只能在房里上网，温习功课，发着白日梦，除了这些，还能做些什么。我不敢，在任何人面前说出我的梦想，因为，我晓得，他们都会反对，说我天真，我真的压抑好大，好辛苦。我真的累了。。

我与你的感情线上，好想浮上了一道伤疤。。我俩的感情，我就像天上飘着的风筝，而你就是操作控制风筝的那个线，无论风筝风的再怎么高，只要你一收收线，我就会堕落，回到你的身边。。但，你从来没想过，我是否真的快乐。。或许，有一天，线拉得太紧绷，断了，那该怎么办？与你在一起，我的压力真的好大。。围绕着许许多多的问题。。我的范围，永远都不超过你的界限。。你，也真的快乐吗？你相信，若是放任我在外边游荡，后果一定不堪吧？你真的对我那么没有信心吗？什么话题不一样，都是骗人的。。只要互相坦诚相对，我知道，就没有问题了。在你心中，我是一块珍贵的宝，我都感觉到。。但，有时候，我真得快崩溃了。。我继续读书好了，因为，这都是你想要的。。说真的，若是要我放手我俩的感情，我做不到。其实，我知道你说不让我出去，或做自己喜欢事情的原因，你怕我被欺骗，甚至，也许还怕失去我了。。对吧？还是也害怕我们出现代沟吧？你知道吗？我就像永远都长不大的小孩，因为，你们太宠爱，溺爱我了。。你知道吗？但是，这不是我想要的。。真的不是我想要的。我记得你说过，每个人都需要朋友，不是吗？因为你，我的朋友逐渐地少去，我想谈个心事，翻着电话簿，都找不到可以跟我分享心事的朋友。我的人生，真得很可悲。。你懂吗？除了你，还有谁？

我好想，休息。。因为，我真的累了。。你的女朋友我累了。。好累。。整夜，都在我床上翻覆，一直都睡不着，好苦恼。。我好爱好爱你，你知道吗？你都不晓得。。

l.o.v.e ..??..

i really get hurt now..im trouble all the things..i just know,crying right now..other things,wont care it anymore..maybe i really not a good girl friend..however,i already try my best and keep my temper as well..but,finally,that's stupid brain lost controlling..be crazy again..

im sorry..current circumstances not really well..i will be a crazy somedays..i think..all the bad things was come suddenly..how should i handle it all..??im don't know..i really confuse about it..you are stress,me too..i just wanna u caring me..it's easy..right..???..

god,please bless me..i really love him so much..but,he never know..maybe,he leave me so far..he is not besides me..i cant really to understand me..he too..we are separate other country..so,what can i do..???..what can do for him..??..some more,what can i do for us..??..our future..??..im blur at all..no more idea..and considence..i hate it all..

what's the love meaning for..??..i really don't know..im so tired to continue our relation..however,i never think that i wil give up he someday..because he is my love..only love..forever and ever..i hope,he may understand me..

we are always make arguement..i really dont want fact the difficulty anymore..i felt it make me annoying..and just destroy our relation..the problem is non-stop for us..you are not besides me..i scared alone..i hate alone..i want you always concernation about me..

if always keep quarrel,how could be long relation..??..be with you,already had 3 years..i dont wanna give uping u..do you know it..???..