-..which part should i choice..??..-

hopefully can become back be a kid..when i was finished my secondary life..i feel that the time is so rushing for me..time not enough for using..before one could say,already guadruate 3 years more..however,nothings will be done..damn frustrated for myself..

i will intake some new course later..just because of i don't wanna enter into community university first..i know that,if not,sure that i will be regret..i knew myself,i dislike working..nope,i hate working..i like cooking,travelling..however,it's too hard for me..because i have a lot of things to consideration..

one is of my dear..i couldn't leave him aways..i scared that he will worry about my safety..although we are diffirence place right now..he will contact with me everyday..therefore,i can't be selfish anymore,i should think our ways and our future also..

one more is my parent..im their cowry when i was born on that day..maybe they are too love me,and let me developed as a 'noughty' girl..they are never arrest me i to do those the things i dislike..so,i told kim before,if he really want me,must be more careful..but,he don't care also..because,he already knew how to controlling me..i said the truth,i scared him so much..

last is my sisters and brother..we always make a noise when we are at the home..we are love each other actually..however,we don't know how to describe by ourselve..i still remember,we are always talking other gosip..and together bully a boy who always bully my brother..it's funny..this is my family..

feeling down just because:i still can't find out my ways..studying..??what course should to study..??become a traveller..??can i do it..??or become a chief..??so blur=.=!!actually i lucky than other family already..this,i knew..i had a good family,i also had a good hubby..if i can make a wish,i hope..we can be together forever..no matter how long end in my life..they are the most important for me..

-our relationship will be permanently..??..-

** this is my beloved with his lovely cousin**

today,we was fight again..maybe my bad temper make it..not maybe..is make sure..i wanna say sorry to him,but i don't have any brave to talk it..i feel silly,i feel shy in front of him..i scared him to scold me..finally,the bad dream was came out..

im wrong to do somethings..i careless,i was mistaken about him..i don't know how to care a person who i loving for..futhermore,i just find a problem and make quarrel with him..i want apologize with him when he explain a lot of reason and principle..

i feel that im so selfish..i just wanna he take care me..im forgot he was losing his freedom,just because of me..he seldom contact with his friend also..just because he scare me will be angry him..i just care myself..i never thinking about him..all is my problem..all is i make it..no matter where i go wrong,he will be there to turn it into right..

im sorry..i cry..however,it's too late..i hurt him too much..his mouth was born a lot of sore;his hand was scald by oil when he was cooking for dinner..but i didn't asking his wound be more fine..??..i ignore his feeling..what feeling he has..??..

he got a lot of assignment to do..i still annoying him and want he chatting with me..i knew that he was tired..but,he still like nothing..and thrown out his trouble,make some motion to show me..i know why,he wanna be more happy although he worries about his exam or assignment..

i had a good boy friend here..however,i don't know to precious him..i hope he can take care himself..futher,wanna say "sorry" to my beloved..because i really hurt he so much,just like just now..i was lose one's temper again..i also wanna tell him that " i love you "..dear,i promise you,i will try to change my temper..and i wish you can understanding me also..you are num.1 in my heart..i will love you every moment in my life..believe me,i know the time can change anythings,include avell the love that have you give..i will try my best to do well in everythings..

really sorry today,wish you have a good dream..i hope,our relationship will be permanently..forever-ever..until last moment in my life..im sorry..dear..

-**from kim with love**-

my precious and me

again and again and again..whenever im falling down,hopeless and pushed around..sure that you are besides me..listening your advice,trust you that you will help me to carry on anythings..

thank you that im dearly loved from you..my life has changed because of you..you showed me love,like i never knew before..i believe in happy ever after..i thank god for you and me..

there's no joy like the sound of your laughter..it most imazing..i will be the light,to help us find our ways..trough the years,i think that we will keep going on..

i will love you until my final momments..forever's meant for you and me..thank you,my dear..

feel stress..

i have a lot of things want to do..sometime,i really feel that need some idea..to recover that what i losing for..damn unlucky this few day,all the rubbish things come out by step by step,day by day..

bad things come out,should think some idea to settle it..but i have no idea now,my brain just like a white paper..anythings also cant do it as well..really be defeated already..

god,please bless me..i need a lot of time..sometime feel like sick..no more freedom..all controlling by other..im the loser..super loser..sometime,feel that wanna to die..it is hurt me..

which way should i to choice..continue to study..??..or choice to do which as i feel interesting business..???..or become a traveller..??..really wanna find a way to aegis myself..feel jealous bcome a kid..no more stress..no more annoy..just stay happy there..am i right..???..